Have you ever snapped at your partner or your child and, a split-second later, been flooded with a wave of strong regret?

That feeling of your emotions hijacking your best intentions is a universal part of being human. It's the moment we react instead of respond, and it's where the tiny cracks in our connections can form.

This article isn't about becoming a perfect, zen-like person. It's an exploration of the practical insights we can use to create a tiny, almost invisible space between a trigger and your reaction. In that space, you can find your power to choose.

This isn't a character flaw; it's a feature of our biology. Our brain's emotional threat response is simply much faster than our rational, thinking mind. According to research popularised by psychologist Daniel Goleman, this is known as an "amygdala hijack" – a state where our primitive emotional brain takes over before our logical prefrontal cortex has a chance to intervene. This is why common advice like "just be calm" is often useless in the heat of the moment. You are in a neurological state of reaction.

Understanding this "why" is the first step. It helps us move from self-judgment to self-awareness. But the real question is, what can we do about it?